A Message for our Advertisers

I gotta be real with you, Facebook. Uber. Samsung. Etc. Etc.

My warm and fuzzies have turned into cold and scratchies.

I don’t want to hear that we’re “together apart” or that we’ll get through this together.

How many ads can possibly include people banging pans in apartment windows? It’s a touching and impactful practice acknowledging medical workers, to be sure. But my heart strings are all pounded out on that.

Families are connecting over Zoom. But it’s just not the damn same. Chatting over the internet is cold and glitchy and distant. You can’t catch a toddler walking towards the camera and nuzzle their soft little head. We’re lucky we live in a time when we have technology that can help facilitate our interactions, but it all just still sucks.

I don’t want to watch heartwarming commercials of people video chatting.

Every 👏 commercial 👏 is 👏 the 👏 freaking 👏 same.

I get it, advertisers. You’re in an awkward spot. You didn’t expect this pandemic anymore than the rest of us, and your regular advertising had to go in a hurry. You didn’t want to sound like an asshole by saying “We’re sorry about all of this nonsense. Please still buy our products. Just buy it online”.

Enough! I just want to laugh now. And vent. And shop online for all the things I don’t need. So see? You still have my business.

The situation is far from funny, but I watch T.V. to escape. Not to be reminded about this awful affliction munching on the world right now, and flipping our routines upside down.

We know, companies. You care. We’re in this together. Blah, blah…..blah. Now kindly make me laugh and act normal, or get out of my living room.