Middle Age Mom: The store

They sell us youth in a bottle at the beauty supply stores.

But how can you bottle up inexperience and finding your footing? Does the self-consciousness mix with the immature decision-making when you shake the container?

The youth serum should have a lovely pearl sheen but with chunks of worrying what others think. Globs of “if I was better, he would like me back”. Would the self-absorbency sink into your skin or just coat the surface?

Of course, they make a lot of awesome youth creams. Full of motivation and drive and compassion. A youthful desire to change the world. But that’s not for me. Those are for the youngsters.

Hand me a bottle of that Getting Wrinkles, please. Or maybe the Gray Hair is Hot spray.

I’ll even settle for the More Aches, Less Shits Given.

I heard that new perfume Empathy has notes of caring and sharing, but also learning to let go and just breathe and sit together and be.

I want to try on that Speaking with Authority setting spray. And some Call me Ma’am powder.

Know Your Worth eye shadow got great reviews.

Take my money, Middle Age Woman. I’m kicking in your doors and clearing the shelves.